Center for the Development of the Person LLC

New Website

2011-08-18T06:25:00.000-05:00

Our new Website is at www.centerperson.com .

Please visit these new pages for information and announcements

regarding our current activities!

Musical Event in May .... Mark Your Calendars!!

2011-04-06T13:43:00.003-05:00

Road Trip Through Italy ... and Beyond!

Saturday May 14th, 2011

St. Matthias Church, Waukesha
Sara d'Ippolito and Martha S. Bache-Wiig in Concert

My daughter Sara and I will be holding our first "official" public performance here in the USA in the exquisite setting of St. Matthias Episcopal Church in Waukesha.

We will be offering our listeners a fun and meaningful combination of classical guitar favorites, Italian canzoni, and original songs composed by us!

Go to the "Road Trip Through Italy ... and Beyond" page for more information, and/or contact me directly. Tickets are on sale online here, and there will be "real" tickets available soon.

I look forward to having you join us! There are lots of stories to be told about this concert, which came about in a truly magical way .... come hear the stories and music, and share the magic with us on May 14th!

Hipotesis acerca Ulises, by Antonio Mercurio

2011-03-19T07:59:00.001-05:00

The Spanish translation of Antonio Mercurio's "Hypotheses on Ulysses" is now also available for free download! I have placed it on my sidebar as well for easy download.

Hipotesis acerca Ulises, by Antonio Mercurio

March 2011

2011-02-26T07:23:00.002-06:00

Pathways to Inner Peace - Meditation and Guided Visualization

Next encounter Thursday, March 24 , from 6:30- 8:00 pm.

I have received several requests to add another encounter during the month and I am happy to do so!

Come join us for this light-and-easy but very powerful way to give yourself a bit of a break and tune into the kindness, joy and peace already within you!

After this encounter the next one will be

April 7th, from 6:30-8:00 PM.

Relationship Group for Women

The next 8 session cycle will begin on March 5th. There are no spots open for this cycle, but if you are interested in undertaking this extraordinary journey, don't hesitate to contact me and reserve your place for the next cycle!

Updates on other upcoming groups and classes, including the new group "Experimenting with Living Your Human Design", will be posted soon!

Coming Up in 2011

2011-01-14T19:36:00.001-06:00

January

"Onirodrama: creatively exploring the exquisite language of dreams"

First Encounter Wednesday January 19, from 6-8 pm

This group will be a series of experiential applications of the technique for dream exploration developed by Dr. Bruno Bonvecchi and Dr. Ombretta Ciapini, called "Onirodrama"
(oniro=dream).

Whether you are a person who often remembers your dreams or not, this group can offer you an opportunity to bring your dreams to life through interactive role play. It can enhance your ability to listen to the messages arising from the deepest part of yourself in a supportive and highly dynamic context, which will also increase your awareness of how deeply connected we all truly are, and how we can experience mutual sustenance and growth on a profound level.
Click here for more information.

February

Pathways to Inner Peace - Meditation and Guided Visualizations

Next encounter Thursday, February 3rd, from 6:30- 8:00 pm.

Click here for more information.

"The Art of Loving - Love and the Person"

First lesson Saturday, February 12 from 4-6 pm.

This course delves into the principle that Love is an Art that must be learned, just like anything else in our lives. It will be based on the classic book "The Art of Loving" by Erich Fromm, and on Antonio Mercurio's original proposals regarding how our ability to freely and responsibly love ourselves, love others and to receive love is what defines us as Persons.

Over a series of 4 monthly lessons, we will delve into a new way of looking at and "living" love that will help you increase your ability to experience Love in your life on every level.

Click here for more information.

Bringing in the New

2011-01-04T10:26:00.005-06:00

Why settle for surviving, or even "well-being", when we can move towards "more-being"?

As I wrote about last week, in saluting 2010 I spent a lot of time reflecting on what I wanted to let go of so I could make room for the new dimensions of being that I wanted to allow into my life.

Now that 2011 has arrived, I have been reflecting on what it is, exactly, that I want to bring in. Have you?

For the last few years I have made a point of making a list at the end of the year of what I have accomplished over the year just past, and another list of what I hope to bring into the year ahead. This is something I always encourage my clients to do as well, and it is a process that is always hightly rewarding.

This year, my fiance' and I did this together, and talked at length about our accomplishments and dreams for the future on an individual level, and also with regards to our relationship. We had done so in the past, but not with quite the same kind of attention and care, and I must say it added a very special note to our New Years celebration.

It was a lot of fun, and it was also actually pretty amazing to see how far we came this last year, separately and together... and it was exciting to begin thinking of what we hope to bring in during 2011.

What was interesting to me was that our focus has shifted a lot - in years past, even though for both of us our personal and spiritual growth and development is always pretty much in first place, we were still focused a lot on trying to either "fix" what was wrong, or else obtain things we were lacking.

This year, it was interesting to notice that we were both much more focused on what we could create in our lives as individuals, and in our life together. That is such an amazing difference, and it is one that I am ever more aware does not happen because we "will" it to -- it happens when we are ready for it, when within ourselves we have reached an understanding that our life is a constant collaboration with the forces within us and outside of us. It is the result of a shedding of "victim mode" that does indeed require effort, but does not come about by doing battle with ourselves and others, it is not something that we simply think ourselves out of ... it is truly a journey, that requires yes our attention, and a desire to grow, but also a deep receptivity, an ability to accept Life as it is and see its beauty in every moment, even in the most difficult of times.

I realized that what is happening within me is an ever more tangible experience of the distinction that Antonio Mercurio makes between "Primary Beauty" and "Secondary Beauty". Primary Beauty is the beauty of life - it is the beauty of nature, as well as the satisfaction of our essential needs and the ability to live relatively comfortably and happily. Primary Beauty is on one level a given, because it has to do with the gift of life itself, but on another it is something that must be conquered through conscious effort ... because even though we may have the material means to survive, we may be so traumatized that we cannot be truly well or happy, and it can be very difficult to experience inner peace and love for self and others. And there are also many on the planet who have little experience of even having their basic material needs satisfied. So, in any case "Primary Beauty" is often something we have to strive for, to be able to experience it fully. And most people do just this - we work hard to make a living and obtain material security and comfort, and we also make efforts to improve our health and overall wellness. This time of year is when we often set new goals for ourselves in terms of how we can experience and enhance Primary Beauty in our lives ... we decide to go on diets, to quit bad habits, to learn new skills, etc. etc.

I have been mulling over these things these last few days, and I have found myself thinking that Primary Beauty is like "wellbeing". It means there is enough wellness in our bodies, minds and spirits to be able to experience life with relative satisfaction and even happiness. It is true that many of us are lacking in "wellbeing", and so it's important that we allow ourselves everything we need, all the help and support necessary, to achieve Primary Beauty and Wellbeing in our selves and in our lives.

But what comes after that? What happens once we have enough Primary Beauty in our lives that we can live relatively comfortably and happily? Many settle in and enjoy this state of homeostasis .. but many, instead, can feel within themselves that there is still something lacking. Often a crisis can occur even when life is "good" that throws us back into the cauldron of inner and outer turmoil, and we are forced to really look at what we are doing with our lives. When we are struggling we are certain that simple "wellbeing" is enough .... but is it? Once we reach it, where do we go from there?

This is where Secondary Beauty comes in. Mercurio defines it as being a material and immaterial field of energy that is created when two or more people, hitherto strangers to each other, come together in a common project with the goal of creating the fundamental principles of love, freedom, truth and beauty. When people make such a decision to do this, this energy is generated, which transforms those who are participating as well as those who are merely touched by it ... and it is an immortal energy as well, one that is not subject to the laws of enthropy.

I will have to admit that for all the years I have been following Antonio's thought, this whole idea of Secondary Beauty has been a little bit difficult for me to comprehend. Being a person who had to struggle for quite a long time to acquire a modicum of Primary Beauty in my life, Secondary Beauty seemed like something rather superfluous to me! However, within me I felt this concept to have truth to it, and it was also "beautiful", in the sense that it gave me pleasure to reflect on it and it also offered me a feeling of inspiration, something that was worth working towards, something that called out the best within me and nourished my very soul as well.

I realize that it is true that Secondary Beauty corresponds to the concept of "more-being", something that another of my mentors, Dr. Bruno Bonvecchi, has often spoken of (and I hope to have an article of his translated into English soon, so I can put it here on this site). It is an important step beyond simply "well-being". Well-being is something that we can very easily stop at, and settle into the arm chair ... (or at least hope to!) ... it is definitely extremely important for each one of us, but it is not enough to live a truly fulfilling life. Once our basic material, emotional and spiritual needs are met, it could actually be quite easy to fall into complacency, if not outright self-centeredness and self-righteousness ... which seems to be where many of us are at right now in the Western world. Within that complacency, the emptiness can sneak back in, making us wonder what meaning it all has ... and quickly turn our initial satisfaction into a confused search to fill the void with insignificant, if not harmful, things, which often sets us back rather than bringing us forward.

As I mentioned, it was striking to me that I seem to be experiencing a shift within myself, from a focus on "Primary Beauty", or "well-being", to indeed what "more-being" or Secondary Beauty might actually be. The most interesting thing to note is that this is happening within me not because of "things" I have acquired in a material sense - it is occurring because, I believe, I have simply managed to truly place my inner life and my relationship to my Higher Self in absolute first place. I am less confused by its "call" to me, even though I am still not always great at heeding it as promptly as I would like! What is fascinating to me is that the more I let go of my demands for a certain type of "Primary Beauty", the true importance of Secondary Beauty - the ability to CREATE love, freedom, truth and beauty - seems to emerge.

It is a daily choice that I have to make, and there is no question that there are days when I am not sure which direction to take, or if I am really in tune with what is best for me and those around me, for Life itself, or not. I also still make plenty of clearly bad choices!! But I can feel that with the intention to move forward, to be willing to allow myself to be led in this adventure, instead of having to dictate the outcomes, the journey becomes not only a bit easier, but much more fulfilling.

I managed to give myself a lot of love over the holidays, and it was quite a major accomplishment ... but the most exciting thing for me is to see that indeed, when I manage to be responsible for my well-being, when I do all I can to affirm my need and desire for "Primary Beauty" (physical, emotional, material and spiritual health - not in an absolute sense, but doing the best I can), I begin to see that I have gained the right kind of energy to be able to participate in a greater goal, one of creating Secondary Beauty, which benefits not only myself and my immediate sphere, but all of Life itself.

Therefore, in this wish for the New for everyone, I truly hope you can first embrace any call you may have within to move towards greater Primary Beauty during the year ahead, and that while doing so you can choose also to join in some kind of project or goal where you can create Beauty together with others as well. When we embrace the New, when we move towards "more-being", amazing things happen, life is always full of surprises, and perhaps the best part is that we come to understand how important our unique contribution is to the ever-unfolding marvel that is the Life we have inside of us, and that it is our task to express at ever deeper and more authentic levels.

This is certainly not an "arm-chair" kind of adventure, as it requires a continual willingness to step out of our comfort zones and bring forth a creative expression of the divine spark within us, and that can sometimes feel not only very scary, but downright threatening. But once we are past that initial fear, and the sense of lonliness that can come with it, we can come to experience a new flow of enthusiasm for living which has nothing to do with simply procuring material security and predictability.

My greatest wish is that you can all experience this, if even for a moment, so that you can find within the strength and the inspiration you need to move towards the "more-being" that is within you, and that is so longing to come forth and be given fuller expression. This is, perhaps, one of the ways that we can reciprocate to Life, as a gesture of our gratitude for the opportunity to be here, struggling through the fog but also granted the possibility to glimpse the great Love here for us, if we are willing to make the effort to learn to see it, feel it, and pass it on to others. My hope is that 2011 will bring many of us to choose this way, to never settle for less, to cultivate our trust that this is possible, even when we are travelling through dark and painful moments. At the end of every struggle is an opportunity to create even more Beauty, together with those who share our dreams and are willing to make the effort .... the light at the end of the tunnel!

May we all choose to move towards "more-being" this year, and create Secondary Beauty for ourselves, our loved ones, and all of creation! Quite an ambitious wish, I know, but one that I am now certain is the one most worth striving for, and one that brings with it the greatest rewards.

Inner Remodeling

2010-12-31T08:26:00.004-06:00

One of the New Years traditions I experienced in Italy that left an incredible mark on me - almost literally, and you'll soon understand why I say that - was that of getting rid of old "stuff" all during the day and night of New Years Eve. This tradition is especially visible and dramatic in Naples, where I had the great fortune to experience one such heralding of the New Year, which is actually renowned in all of Italy for how wildly dramatic the Neapolitans are on this holiday. They take it very seriously indeed, with literally everyone doing some fireworks themselves, to the point where the whole city is a-crackle with everything from sparklers to bombs for hours on end. It is quite a sight to see, and the smog that is created afterward from the smoke of so many pyrotechnics can linger in the hills of the city and over the bay well into the morning! The national papers also carry the news the next day on how many people were injured during the festivities - the tally is usually quite high - but that never seems to deter anyone!

But one of their most unique traditions is that of how they actually get rid of the old.

The year I had the opportunity to spend New Years in Naples I was a guest of friends in the Spanish Quarter, which is one of the oldest sectors of the city. A literal maze of centuries-old buildings connected by narrow, winding streets that climb ever higher, this quarter is always a-buzz with all kinds of comings and goings, but on New Years Eve not only do you have to be careful about side-stepping firecrackers and even much bigger explosives, but you have to watch what might be falling from above! The inhabitants clean out the old with a vengeance, often launching their unwanted belongings, including furniture, from the windows! I had quite a shock when strolling through one of the vicoletti suddenly just a few feet in front of me a large, wooden desk plummeted to earth from a few stories up, making a crash that almost rivalled all the other high-decible noises produced by whatever people were lighting off. Indeed it was so unsettling that I thereafter decided to get to my other friends' home where I would be spending the evening, in one of the more elevated quarters where we had a spectacular view of the city going absolutely mad, as quickly as I could, and hopefully without any consequences to my physical - or emotional - integrity!! (I have to say that this experience left me literally shaking, I was absolutely terrified by it, to the great amusement of my Neapolitan friends!).

But what has most remained in my memory from that unforgettable night is especially that desk, which seemed to speak so eloquently of its owner's desire to really turn over a new leaf. I'm sure it took muscle to get it to the window and then heave it out, and it certainly took a good amount of conviction that such effort, and the possible consequences to passers-by, were absolutely welcome prices to pay to get rid of something that was no longer useful and had become a burden. (Ok, I know, we could also look at it from the angle of how completely selfish and self-centered such an action is, but we'll let that go for now!).

For me these last weeks of 2010 have been ones of deep reflection, where I have been again encouraged by my body to really look at how I am using my energies, and how I can curb the ever-incessant pressures of "mind" to do, do, do, to always rush around to fill up all kinds of voids and to push ever harder to attempt to achieve goals that it has either been convinced, or has convinced itself, are important ones.

As the days went on and my body became more vocal in terms of what it really wanted (rest, nourishment, gentle exercise, some important changes in habits in both intake and output that are no longer good for me), I began to feel that what was truly in order was quite another major overhaul in terms of what my priorities are.

I was called to do some major "remodeling" of first of all how I was thinking about my life, so I could then make some essential shifts in how I could actually live.

I had to allow myself to love myself even more.

It is always amazing to me how challenging this can be, how every time I am ready to make another step further toward my essence, towards a deep respect for who I am and how I am "made" (and knowledge of my energy type as described by Human Design has been a real blessing for me in this process), I must first wade through a lot of leftover "shoulds" that still occupy so much of me, as well as a tendency to look outward and compare myself to others. It is also a continual challenge to let go of certain cultural models that drive our Western, industrialized society - models that push us all, whether we are aware of it or not, towards a "homogenization" that cannot take into account the needs, to say nothing of the deeper desires, of the individual Person.

I have known in my heart for many years that it is up to me to first become aware of, and then free myself, of these deep forms of conditioning, and I have been picking away at it for many years now, slowly sculpting a new identity for myself, or perhaps it is more correct to say I have been chipping away the false identity that has shrouded me, so that my True Self can emerge ever more. I am also aware that this is not a process that has an end - we are perhaps lucky if we manage to find the proper stimulus and guidance to begin it, and once we have started, it is truly only a starting point for a journey that has no finish-line. There are only points along the way where we are called to make ever deeper shifts ... with the advantage, however, that as we progress, the benefits increase exponentially. In my experience, these benefits are not measurable, at first, in our "outer" life: they are treasures we discover, and feel, within our deepest selves - greater inner peace, greater tolerance and acceptance of others, a greater ability to live in the moment, to name just a few of the most important for me.

And as I chip away at that False Self, there are times when some rather drastic remodeling is required! A simple redecorating is out of the question: walls must be torn down, old fixtures must be removed, flooring must be torn out. And whereas the process today for me is exciting, because I have gone through it often enough to have a deep faith that I am indeed making room for much greater Beauty in my life, it is always unsettling, and there is also always a mourning process that must be experienced deeply, as a natural tilling of the soil that will one day be home to expressions of my individuality that I today cannot even imagine.

Some of the things I have gathered to "throw out" today are:

- my need to "know" ahead of time how things will turn out for me, be they in my work or personal life;

- my feeling that I "should" organize my life according to certain schedules and rhythms that others have told me are "correct" (and they probably are - but they are correct for them, not for me!);

- my difficulty in saying "no" to others' needs and demands on my time and energy, for fear of losing their "love" or approval.

These are actually just a few, but they are each entire rooms in themselves within me, or perhaps even complete levels or floors of my consciousness!!

So the process has been quite exhausting, because knocking down all these walls, and even deciding to rip up some flooring that I have dearly loved but know is no longer supportive of my unfolding essence, requires not a little bit of energy!

But as I have been managing to allow this process to unfold within me, it has been absolutely amazing to me to feel the new lightness and space that is being created. It is also clear that as I approach the celebration of my half-century of life, such an overhaul is absolutely essential, if I am to move into my next phase with a deeper understanding and respect for my "holistic" being - where my body and soul become ever more the drivers , and "mind" with all its crazy demands can finally take a back seat, into a position of being of service to my life and to Life itself, rather than having it dominate, drive and so often abuse them.

My New Years wish for all of those reading me is that you, too, can delve deep within and not be afraid of getting rid of some of your old "stuff", knowing that as you do so you are actually making some fundamental, existential "space" for whole new facets of your Self to emerge.

It takes courage, because deciding to do things differently than you have in the past and from others around you does create a void. But one of the most beautiful discoveries that you may make is that in that void lies your Divine Spark, your True Self, whose riches may not unfold in purely material or monetary terms, but are most certainly much greater than you can ever imagine, and which bring true Love and Beauty not only to you and to those around you, but to Life itself. It may seem that these are "intangible" values, but I can assure you they are not: when we manage to embrace them deep within, they begin to express outwardly, and they start coming alive not only in the form of material reality - new people, new projects, new resources - but also in one of an ever-transformative field of energy. I can feel this today, I can touch its vibrations and hear its beautiful, melodious voice, that reassures me that everything really is okay, I am safe and I am loved in the Universe and also calls me onward towards new levels of being.

I can't help but say this: if I am experiencing this, believe me, anyone can, because my own journey has been an almost continual uphill climb - if not a battle - from conception onward! My only true merit is that I have simply never given up ... and I have had to wait many, many years to begin to truly experience the benefits of my decision made a long time ago to devote my entire existence to this path, for myself and for the benefit of others around me, be they my loved ones or my clients or anyone I may encounter along the way. I have often wondered if I were on the right path, and have whined incessantly because it seemed simply too hard and too lonely. But today I can say with all my heart that I am so grateful to have found the right guidance and the strength I needed to keep on going even when it seemed absolutely futile, because I am beginning to glimpse the reality that we can truly create heaven here on earth, within ourselves, within our own hearts and minds. For me this "heaven" is a lot simpler and "emptier" than I would have ever imagined I could want it to be, and its peace and beauty far exceeds anything I could have ever imagined either!

And I also can't help but express my enormous gratitude to all of those who have contributed to my journey, and especially to those who are in my life today, be it on a personal or a professional level. Each one of you have contributed something special, something unique, to my very being, be it great or small: you are each an essential piece of the Mosaic of my life.

In my own remodeling, know that you are here within me, that I honor and thank you from the depths of my heart, and I wish you truly a most special 2011, where you can take ever greater steps to make your deepest dreams and desires come true!

Martha

The Greatest Gift

2010-12-16T09:12:00.001-06:00

I have been thinking a lot these last few weeks about what I would like the Holiday Season to feel like this year.

In the past, it has always brought me a mixture of pleasure and stress, the pleasure being in entering into the spirit of giving and the time spent with family and friends, and the stress being in figuring out how to spread out my time, energy and money in ways that feel right for me and don't leave me too depleted.

I have been pondering a lot about how to keep the stress levels at a minimum this year, because I feel that I am at a place where this is very important to me. For anyone who has ever worked with me or had any kind of contact with what I truly believe to be most important in our lives, the phrase "the most important thing is to love yourself" is familiar .... but what does that really mean? And how does that apply during these particular holidays, when giving to others is central to the festivities?

I know the first shock for anyone that hears the words "you must love yourself before anyone else" has to do with the fact that it's a complete turnaround from what we've always heard (perhaps especially women, but I know men get this message too, although in different ways), that we must learn to love others and put ourselves in second place. And there is no question that this kind of message is important as well, because it is human nature for us to be rather egotistical and want everything in our lives to be "all about us".... so it's good to be encouraged to look at how we affect other people with our words and deeds, and become more sensitive to that, and more truly caring about not only those others who are closest to us, our family and friends, but also "all" others. This type of sensitivity and "goodness" is a basic requirement for any healthy kind of human community, and it is something that we all are challenged to work on for all of our lives.

The problem is that this message of "love others as thyself" is often actually "love others so they will love you", or "love others so you can demand that they will do what you want them to", or many other variations on these themes, and we are unaware of these deeper motivations. We are all in search of and also in need of connectedness to others, and there is nothing inherently wrong with this - to the contrary, I truly believe that this need for connectedness is one of our greatest gifts from Life (or God or however one may want to call it) ... it actually is the Gift of Life itself, that we are all called to try to find, and slowly unwrap, during the course of our lives.

The challenge lies, however, in recognizing that we each are absolutely unique and differentiated beings, and that until we begin to see ourselves for who we really are, and can express it into our reality, there is really nothing to "connect" to anyone or anything else! Every religion recognizes this, and every spiritual path offers guidance to finding the way to becoming true to oneself, so we can then be of service to Life with our own unique gifts.

But the journey is a long one for most of us! We often have an inkling that something is calling us to look more deeply at who we are and where we are going, but it seems impossible to really follow this call, because we have so many things to do and so many people to care for, just to survive, or to at least maintain what has meant for us a bit of security and predictability in a reality that is anything but secure and predictable!

From what I am seeing, the recent economic crisis has meant that a lot of people have been violently shoved into a place of having to re-evaluate just about everything in their lives, and it is not a fun or "pretty" experience! I, too, have been challenged to re-organize my life and to accept situations that in the beginning felt like absolute disasters, so I am not just talking from a pulpit here!!

But the further I move along in my own journey, the more I can see how times like these are truly incredible gifts, not only for each of us individually, but for our family relationships and our communities, for all the kinds of relationships that we are engaged in in our complex lives.

An apparent lack of resources calls us back to the essentials, and asks of us a very simple question: "What do YOU have to give?" Not "what can you afford to give", but what is it of yourself that you can offer to those you love and care about, to your community, and to Life itself? To be able to answer this question, we must be able to first see who we are, and this brings us back to the whole problem of being able to love ourselves. If we do not see and appreciate ourselves for who we are, we have nothing to give that is truly authentic. We can spend our whole lives trying to live up to an ideal we have either inherited from our families and our cultures, and feeling either miserable and sick most of the time because we can never live up to these expectations, or perhaps just somehow dead inside, like an automaton, going through the motions but never really feeling complete.

It's really scary, though, to make a step towards truly loving ourselves, because it often means we have to confront, and change, some very basic beliefs that we have about how things "should" be. Sometimes it can mean even having to step away from others whom we love but we know are not good for us, or are no longer good for us if we are to continue growing. It almost always means shifting the focus from getting from others what we feel we need and want, or from doing for others so we will look good and thus receive their approval, and deciding to become more deeply responsible for our true happiness. This can feel like a huge leap into a void ... we know what we are leaving behind, but we cannot see what lies ahead. Many of us at this point decide to turn back, because it is just too plain scary and painful, and perhaps we haven't yet been able to truly feel that there might be other ways to navigate this emptiness. Our internal judge, also, can be brutal ... and impossible to face on our own.

All this is especially true when we are facing major life changes and decisions, but I know it is true for me, too, even now that I have no major life decisions to make ... I am just pondering how to make the holiday season meaningful and less stressful!

My gut has been telling me for weeks now to almost completely leave aside the whole "materialistic" thing, and to experience Christmas in a completely different way. I will confess: I want to experience Christmas for Me this year. I want Christmas to be a lot about how to respect and care for myself, and less about how I look in the eyes of others, or what I am giving to them. Yes, a very "selfish" point of view!!! But I can feel that something is brewing here, a whole new concept of myself as well as the holiday, which for me, as a natural "people pleaser" (which essentially translates into "if I do and be the way it seems to me others want me to do and be, maybe I'll get the love I need"), one who has spent much of her life (up until a few years ago, it's getting better and better for me, but is still a great challenge) bending herself into a pretzel in an attempt to "get" the love and happiness I need and want, is a very big deal.

I am not associated with any specific organized religion: I was raised in a Christian denomination, as most of us in this culture (and when I use the word "Christian" I mean all those churches born out of the original one based on the teachings of Jesus, the Orthodox and Catholics and all the various Protestant etc. off-shoots - sorry guys, you have a lot more in common than many of you would like to think!), but early in my life I realized that my journey for personal and universal truth had to go beyond that. That early decision has led me today to consider myself extremely devoted to a spiritual path, but one that amply and freely partakes of every school of wisdom that I have had the honor and the opportunity to get to know along the way. I have some definite preferences, but I consider myself someone on a continual path of discovery, more than someone who has discovered any static or definite "truth" (besides a few basic ones that are shared by pretty much all religions and philosophies, from what I have seen).

But despite my not feeling connected to any specific religion, there is no question that I consider Christ to be a great master and teacher, and the celebration of his birth has a very special meaning to me. I "know" that most of the major religions in the world have some sort of festivity around this time, because it coincides with the Winter Solstice, the longest night of the whole year in the northern hemisphere. I "know" that this celebration has been essential to keep hope alive in our hearts, that even in the darkest, longest night, a "light" can appear - the Light of the World in the Christian religion, seen in the coming of the Christ.

But what I've been wondering a lot about these last weeks is, what is this "light" that we are all looking for? And specifically, who is Christ and what does he represent?

When I think of what I know about Jesus, about how he lived his life and what he taught, I realize that he is a man who managed to truly BE HIMSELF. He had some very clear ideas about what he felt was right and wrong, about how to connect with God, about what "right relationships" were with the other people in his life. What he taught was completely unacceptable for the "establishment" of his time, but that did not stop him one bit. He stuck with his truth even when he was tortured and killed for it.

He was so faithful to his own path, that he had no second thoughts whatsoever when he had to do what was right for him. And at the same time, he is one of the greatest teachers of love and forgiveness that humanity has ever seen, and his actions were so powerful in this sense that even after 2 millennia they serve as guides to a couple billion people the world over, making the Christian religion (with all its various cults) still the largest in the world.

So if I think of Christ and Christmas in the light of these "facts", I realize that indeed Christmas this year is assuming a completely new significance for me. If I look at Christ as a teacher of how to "thine own self be true", while harmonizing one's love for oneself with love for others, and making it into a powerful, revolutionary, unifying force ... I can see that "the light of the world" has to do with exactly each one of us BECOMING OURSELVES. One of the things Jesus said continuously was to do as he did, to live as he did, and that anyone who would follow his teachings could do even more than he did. Many people have interpreted that to mean that we can all become miracle workers and healers, or that a "proof" of our being like him can be seen in how "good" we are, how much we give to others, how supposedly charitable and tolerant we are and all the rest.

And I am not saying that those are not important parts of his teaching, but today, as I write these words, and after weeks of mulling over how to truly EXPERIENCE Christmas, instead of have it fly by in a flurry of shopping, food, family and perfunctory religious and/or cultural rites, I realize that truly the call to devote myself to the "light of the world" means recognizing the Divine Spark within me, however that may manifest itself.

At the moment, it is manifesting as a need to go within, to meditate and rest and be away from the hustle bustle of the world ... and believe me, this is not an easy thing to do, when there are all kinds of "shoulds" in my head - "I have to do the shopping, and the cleaning, and the wrapping, and the .... and I also have to do all the work I need to do to get the money I need to buy all this stuff!!!!!". As usual, my body has come to my rescue, as it often does when I am incapable of willingly following the call of my soul, and I have not been well physically ... so it's been a bit easier to STOP , and let all of that external stuff go, and even silence the negative voices in my head.

And I am not at all saying that everyone should experience it in this way!!! This is ME, no one else, this is the way the Divine Spark manifests in me, whereas I know perfectly well that for others it is the complete opposite. For others, if they were to try to force themselves to be a hermit like I am, they would be absolutely miserable, and their Divine Spark would be snuffed out in a second!! (My fiance' and I are opposites in this respect, and much of our journey together so far has been learning how to first accept and then honor and encourage these differences ... definitely a challenge at times, but also one of the most wonderful learning experiences in this sense that I have ever had the opportunity to have).

So I am not at all offering up some kind of generalized suggestion to follow my way. What instead inspires me to be here this morning and write all this out arises simply from this desire to share how deeply I feel this message of Christ, his call to us to BECOME OURSELVES and to connect with the Divine in any and every way that feels the best to us .... because if we do this, if we put this in absolute first place, then, and only then, can we truly offer our unique gifts as a service to our loved ones, to our communities, to our whole world - to all of Creation.

His life also shows us that this is not a painless process - but we can see how the extraordinary effects of his example have continued to ripple and affect generations and generations of human beings, urging us ever onward to become more than we were before, to embrace our transformation first into unique individuals, so that we can then offer our precious gifts to the Whole.

There is no question in me any longer that when we manage to do the same, to honor ourselves, to treat ourselves with love and kindness, to allow ourselves to BE and to stop running around trying to be like others, to develop our own unique connection within our own hearts to the Divine, that the positive effects this has on our environment is no less important than Christ's was. Just like he said.

This is the greatest gift that we can give ourselves, give others and give Life, and I know many might be asking "so what does this MEAN in my life right now!?!" (if you have managed to stick with me this far!!).

And I do have a suggestion for this. Love is a journey that we cultivate step by step and day by day: it is not with one gesture that we "love completely", either ourselves or anyone else. It is through small gifts and decisions that we make progress along the path.

It could very well be that as you were reading me, in your heart of hearts you felt something, some pull towards something you want to give yourself, be it a material object, time for yourself, doing something you have been longing to do. (And careful: while a gift to ourselves can also be changing something about us that we don't like or know is not truly good for us, this is not the time for this; this is not about "fixing" something that we feel is not right, it is about honoring something that is already there). You may have immediately tossed it off, feeling that it is "too much" ... too expensive, too difficult, too scary etc. etc.

And if that is the case, realize that you can break it down into smaller steps, smaller pieces ... what is important is that you make a gesture towards this "heart's desire", and recognize that every gesture of love that you make towards yourself is indeed the greatest gift of all, even if it is very small, even if it seems insignificant.

From this place of Love for the Divine Spark within you, that is there even if you might not be feeling it right now, any action that you may take to honor this is something that releases an enormous energy, and serves also as a positive example for others. Just think what a wonderful place the world would be if everyone truly Loved this Divine Spark, and were capable of nurturing it and then sharing it with others!

For this reason, it is truly my most profound wish for anyone who might be reading me to be able to embrace the unique Spark that you are, and celebrate your very existence, and give yourself even one small gift. This will open the door, even if it's just a crack, to the Greatest Gift you will ever know, and that will allow you to then be able to share it with others from the very deepest, and most authentic, place in your heart and soul.... and thus begin a chain reaction of Great Gifts all down the line .......

Love to all,

Martha

Inauguration Ceremony

2010-11-15T10:16:00.002-06:00

New Studio at

314 South Street, Waukesha, WI 53186

The Center for the Development of the Person LLC now has its own home!!

The inauguration ceremony scheduled for January 8th has been cancelled for now. We will definitely be doing one within the year 2011, so stay tuned for further information!

Per gli amici italiani - pagine in italiano !!!

2010-08-30T06:19:00.000-05:00

Sto lavorando per tradurre le mie pagine in italiano!

Vai a http://personcenteritaliano.blogspot.com/ .... commenti sono benvenuti!

When Stars are Born

2010-07-23T12:12:00.001-05:00

When Stars are Born

Summer 2010

" One must still have chaos in oneself to be able to give birth to a dancing star."

Friedrich Nietzsche

You may have noticed that I like to use pictures from the cosmos - and that I like to change them!

The one I have included above is a Hubble Space Telescope image of a star cluster - an area where new stars are forming - named NGC 602 in the Small Magellanic Cloud. The Small Magellanic Cloud is a dwarf galaxy that is a close neighbor to our Milky Way, at "only" about 200,000 light years away!

I chose this image because June marked nine months since I registered the Center for the Development of the Person as an LLC.

As one friend pointed out, June for me was "birthing time" - since nine months after conception is when humans are ready to leave the womb and begin to survive as individuals separate from the mother, it seems only appropriate to think in these terms for any kind of project.

For stars to be created in the universe, it obviously takes a whole different quantity of "time", but I have always loved the analogy that Antonio Mercurio found years ago between the creation of stars and the birth of individual human beings as "Persons - capable of freely and responsibly loving themselves, loving others and receiving love" (as well as the process that occurs within a group of Existential Personalistic Anthropology).

Stars form when a great cloud of unorganized matter begins to condense and heat up until it finally collapses, eventually reaching a point where the hydrogen atoms begin to fuse and the thermonuclear process begins. Radiation, heat and light are emitted - and we have a new star!

This is obviously a gross simplification of the process, but essentially we have 3 stages: condensation, collapse, and thermonuclear reaction.

If we apply this process to human reality, we can see that any kind of creation follows similar stages. There is the condensation phase, when an idea begins to take shape, or, in the case of a new life, when a male and a female are attracted to one another, and begin to become intimate. The collapse phase can be seen as the time when the male and female "matter" - the sperm and the ovum - actually begin traveling towards each other, each on a separate pathway, and having to undergo various trials (it is well known, for example, that millions of sperm actually undertake the journey in hopes of meeting the ovum, but only one of them will actually fuse with the ovum and all the rest will die; the ovum, too, has quite a tumultuous journey to reach the uterus, and once it is fertilized it has to find a welcoming spot on the uterine wall where it can implant and develop).

The phase of fusion can be identified in the time when both elements must lose something, and be "willing" to be transformed: the sperm loses its tail, and the ovum allows the sperm in. Once this happens, and the zygote is formed, an incredible growth process begins - not unlike a thermonuclear one if you think about it - and if the conditions are favorable enough, it will result in the creation of a complete and new human being approximately nine months later.

Transferred to other things, like groups or projects with a specific purpose, we can see that a similar process occurs. Have you ever started a new project of some sort, and recognized that at some point you begin to hit some major obstacles? You begin to have doubts about it, and if you are involved with other people in a group effort, someone might decide to leave, or conflict arises among the various members.

That's the collapse phase, when, after the initial excitement of condensation of ideas and energies around a new idea, things begin to really heat up!

On a personal level, when we are attempting to birth a new identity as Persons, the phase of collapse is often experienced as a time of great pain. It is a time when we realize we must make some big changes, and if we do so we may have to leave behind people, places and things that meant a lot to us up until that point. It is a time of death: death of parts of ourselves, of ways of thinking, acting and interacting with others.

It can be excrutiating - so much so that we can truly doubt whether or not it's worth it all. And sometimes we can realize that it's just not quite the right moment, or the conditions are not quite appropriate, to give birth to our new project or our new selves - and so we put a halt to the process.

If, instead, we decide to hang in there, and choose again and again to allow ourselves to experience the collapse and everything that means for us, at some point the thermonuclear process begins .... and .... a star is born! New energy is found, we begin to "shine" with a new light, or our project begins to unfold and become more and more visible to others.

This is obviously something that is not always easy to see in ourselves, but have you ever noticed how, after a grueling collapse and re-birthing process, others seem to see your light? You might still be feeling the effects of the pain you have gone through, but others can already see something new, something brighter .... it may take a while for you to realize it, but believe it or not a star has been born, a new sense of self, a new purpose, a new energy to move forward. And when that happens, our new warmth and energy begin to have an effect on others as well, and on the environment around us.

It is a never-ending process, and never completely painless, but once we can begin to understand it and embrace it, when we again have to face a major change we can at least be prepared, and we also have much greater faith and hope that the new life that will emerge will be something greater than before.

It is amazing to me to realize that one year ago at this time I hadn't even begun to think about starting my own Center. It was a vague, nebulous thought somewhere on the periphery of my consciousness. Yes, it had been a "dream" I had been coveting in my heart of hearts for many years - I believe the first time I announced to my Italian teachers, mentors and friends that one day I would open a Center affiliated to the Sophia University of Rome in the United States was sometime in the mid 1990's - but in June 2009 it still seemed light years away.

In the months after my decision to resign from my full-time counseling position at The Women's Center and step back into my identity as a self-employed private practitioner (something I had done in Italy for a number of years, but not yet in the USA), the nebula of my desire for my own Center of Existential Personalistic Anthropology underwent an incredible condensation, and I found myself thinking about it more and more. As my thoughts began to come into greater focus, greatly nurtured by my work translating Antonio Mercurio's books into English, the idea to found my LLC and to begin condensing all my various activities around that one central "identity" became clearer. It was "conceived" on September 9, 2009.

I will confess that I experienced various phases of "collapse" during these last months. I had to undergo many smaller, but nonetheless challenging, "deaths" - the death of my tendency towards perfectionism, the death of many of my expectations regarding how things would unfold, the death of my need for absolute predicatibily and so-called "stability", to name just a few - and more than once I wondered if I was doing the right thing.

But every time I was just about to walk away from it all, and move back towards something that seemed more manageable, I always received some little impulse, some invitation, some type of encouragement from the outside that helped me remember why I was doing all of this, and feel that I was, indeed, supported by Life throughout it all.

And here we are today, just past the nine month mark, and I must say that while there is no question that I am dealing with a newborn, with all that entails - sleepless nights, a flurry of continual activity and things to be done, the anxiety of the new parent who wants their child to be healthy and happy and is always wondering if they are doing things right (and this is also why it has taken me quite a bit longer to get this newsletter out than I expected!) - it is wonderful to see this new "life" emerging.

The endless voyage towards our True Selves - our inner star and guidance - is one that requires continuous effort, but also gives us the reward of seeing truly new life spring forward. It is a creative process, and whereas the pain experienced during the times of collapse is frightening and often overwhelming, it is ever more clear to me that it is well worth the joy that follows: the joy that arises when we have overcome seemingly unsurmountable hurdles, and have found deeper truth, beauty, love and freedom within ourselves.

It has been a wonderful journey, and it has been amazing to experience the whole process. It is certainly not over, but I do know that it is important to stop, at times, and look at what we have accomplished to get to a certain point, and celebrate every little step forward. This is what can most help us continue to grow, because there is no question that we must also make a continual effort to contain our "inner saboteur", which lurks in the corners and is always ready to point out what is not working and try to convince us we are unable, or unworthy, or any other number of negative thoughts.

I want to express my deep gratitude to all of you who have shared in the journey with me so far - my clients, my friends and family in both the USA and Italy, and perhaps most especially, my fiance' Jim, who has lovingly, tenaciously and generously stood beside me through it all, and has often shared his strength with me when mine was faltering.

Now that I write these words, I realize that while this little star is being born, which is the entity of my Center for the Development of the Person LLC, I can see that indeed I am within a star cluster, of many stars being born all at the same time. I have had the great opportunity to witness many "births" this year, those in the lives of clients, of my young-adult children, of projects with friends and colleagues ... the list is actually quite long!

What a beautiful sight!

My hope is that by sharing these ideas, those of you who read me can look at your own processes, and if you are going through the pangs of the death/collapse phase, you can find some hope, and also some strength to face the more difficult parts of the journey. Re-birth is right around the corner! And there is no question that we all need to be connected to others when we decide to be born anew: when we become part of a star cluster, the energies are multiplied, the voyage is much more interesting, and the light emitted into the universe is much greater than the sum of the single parts.

News

2010-07-22T05:31:00.000-05:00

I have the pleasure to announce that a new book is available for download right here on my blog, on the right hand side bar. It is entitled "Antonio Mercurio's Cosmoartistic Anthropology", written by Emanuele Chimienti, Director of the Institute "Gli Ulissidi" (The Ulysseans) in Lecce, Italy. As you can see, I have also uploaded Antonio Mercurio's Book "Hypotheses on Ulysses" so you can download that as well from here!

Also, I have decided to offer a new type of service, which you will find described on the page "Pathways to Authentic Living".

Another bit of news is that I am currently working on my website at http://www.centerperson.com/. I hope to have that up and running soon, with special pages dedicated to members where we can share ideas, information and especially our stories along our journeys of discovery of Self.

"From Kronos to Kairos - the Opportunity of the New Power Paradigm"

2010-06-09T07:30:00.000-05:00

Check out my new article, which offers some Anthropo-Astrological insights on the powerful planetary configurations that are currently affecting many of us. Entitled "From Kronos to Kairos - the Opportunity of the New Power Paradigm", you can read it in English on this blog site on the "Articles" page, or in Italian on the IPAE website at http://www.ipae.it/blog/io-e-le-stelle/.

Existential Personalistic Anthropology - Antonio Mercurio's book Hypotheses on Ulysses Available for free download!

2010-05-18T19:10:00.000-05:00

Existential Personalistic Anthropology is a theoretical framework developed by Prof. Antonio Mercurio and his collaborators and students at the Sophia University of Rome (SUR) in Rome, Italy, and in the various Institutes and Centers affiliated with it throughout Italy, Europe, Russia and now in the United States of America.

For over 40 years, Prof. Mercurio and his associates have explored the validity of the theories and methodological approaches proposed, and have created a wonderful network of people from all backgrounds who together are committed to becoming Persons, to creating their own lives as Works of Art, and to contributing to the creation of the Life of the Cosmos as a Work of Art as well.

Prof. Mercurio has recently made his book "Hypotheses On Ulysses" available for free download at

http://www.free-ebooks.net/ebook/-Hypotheses-On-Ulysses

This is an ebook version of a work originally published in Italian, recently translated by Martha S. Bache-Wiig. It offers a unique and insightful way of looking at Homer's Odyssey as an ancient book of wisdom, which can offer precious guidance to contemporary humanity in their struggles to transform their traumas and conditioning into opportunities for growth, which is essential to the ability to create "glorious concordance" in the couple relationship. Seen through the lens offered by Prof. Mercurio, who has decades of experience helping people move past the temptation to remain Victims of their trauma and instead become Artists of their own Lives and of the Life of the Cosmos, the Odyssey takes on a completely new meaning and purpose, that can't help but touch profound chords of recognition and inspiration in the hearts and minds of people throughout the world.